Storm
by Ruby Fire Wolfson
Summary: Yuna takes a morning jog as she thinks.


Storm  
  
By Ruby Wolfson Fire  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
  
She sometimes dreamed that everything had really been just a hallucination. That her entire adventure had been a dream itself. A dream within a dream.  
  
She dreamed that she would open her eyes and she hadn't even received her first summon yet. She dreamed it was the morning she was supposed to entire the Cloister of Trials and that nothing was going to happen until she made sure the future didn't turn out the same way.  
  
But the dream always ended the same way. She would end up turning and turning, spinning around, convinced that someone was just in the corner of her vision. There is a just a tiny bit of yellow or the soft echo of a familiar voice.  
  
But no matter how fast she whipped her around or how many times she turned, she couldn't see him. There was no cocky grin or silly laugh.  
  
And she would wake up with an ache in her chest and the feeling like there was a hole in her stomach. She woke up with thoughts of, "He's gone. I just wish. . ."  
  
She wished so much. She wished she had gotten to know him better. She wished she had kissed more than just once. She wished she had said those three little words before he was too far gone. She wasn't even sure he'd heard her before he disappeared.  
  
Sometimes, before she fell completely asleep, her mind would play back what happened that day. It was like a sphere had recorded it and had placed those bittersweet images and sounds inside her mind.  
  
She felt stupid when she cried over him. There was no use in getting hung up over the past but sometimes memories were more loving and more painful than anything else. She was preaching that to everyone when memories were something that made her stay in Besaid and not leave despite that the rest of the world would welcome her either with open arms or adventure and she wished for both.  
  
She wanted nothing more than to have him with her.  
  
When she realized that she couldn't live without him, she felt foolish. She was stronger than that. She was not to be dependant on love, like some giggly teenage girl. But the more time passed and the slower the wound healed, she realized that life without him felt so hollow. She felt hollow when she thought of him. Everything felt empty. Everything.  
  
Now her life felt empty. She was done. She completed a mission and now she was just left over. She had expected to die young and to never love and never do anything else but devote her life to others.  
  
Now other people didn't need her.  
  
That hurt so much.  
  
There was no Sin to defeat. No monsters to defeat. The Aeons were gone, so there was no use to praying to them. There was no religion and no government for Spira. There were no more unsent so there was no need for her to dance.  
  
She sat up in bed and roughly rubbed the tears from her eyes before they escaped down her cheeks. No, she vowed to be strong.  
  
That day that he disappeared. . . She realized how weak she was. She had thrown herself at him and had wanted to throw a tantrum and scream for him to come back as he disappeared over the edge of the ship. She cried herself tired and out of tears. She couldn't even stand up. One of her Guardians had to take her inside and put her in bed like a sick child.  
  
She had felt sick to her stomach for days. She didn't want to eat or drink. She just cried and cried until she couldn't breathe.  
  
Then one day, she realized that they were almost back in Luca. And she realized that she was being childish. She realized that no matter how many day she laid in bed, hugging her pillow, wishing it were Tidus, it wasn't going to change anything.  
  
But now, here she was. A year older and not a whole lot better.  
  
It was dark outside, not dawn yet, but she could still sense there were dark clouds in the sky. She could hear the distant growling of a thunderstorm.  
  
Rain. Yes, she could use something to help her dark mood. It'd be like the sky was crying for her.  
  
She got out of bed and quickly changed from her nightclothes into her work clothes, just some fisherman's clothes - loose pants and shirt. Comfortable, practically, but not much to look at. But she didn't want to care. She used to like having the beautiful clothes of a summoner but now. . . Now times demanded that she be more practical, like everyone else in the world.  
  
She had first realized how privileged she had lived when she first began dressing like everyone else. She realized how fanciful and colorful her clothing had been. Her ordinary summoner clothing had been as glamorous as most women's dreams for a wedding dress.  
  
Yes, everything was from a very different perspective.  
  
She pushed back the curtain door of her tent and as she stepped out, she felt the beginning fury of the storm.  
  
In most seaside towns and even cities, storms could be disastrous things. They could be almost as bad as Sin because they could come up as fast and sometimes with even less of a warning.  
  
The winds were the worst thing because they brought down ships and houses faster than the waves or the rain. But she didn't think this would be that bad of a storm. Just a thunderstorm, not a hurricane.  
  
She started off at a slow jog. She felt like she was taking small leaps in slow motion. She always began like this because it was an easy way to loosen up and begin covering ground quickly.  
  
The wind was hot and humid and whipped her hair around her face. It pulled at her and made he clothes billow like sails around her.  
  
She pushed harder. She quickened her pace and began breathing better. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In. Out. In. Out.  
  
She passed the big cobble stones that made up the main square of Besaid. She passed the bits of pebbles that led out of the town. She was beginning on the dirt and gravel path that led to the beach.  
  
The wind pushed against her as she took smaller steps up the hills and tried harder to slow her ascent as she moved faster.  
  
Then sun had risen. It was hardly visible in the storm but the black sky had turned to a dark charcoal gray and she could see the contours of the clouds which had been only the same color and texture as the night.  
  
She felt a splatter here and there as it began to sprinkle. A flash of lightning blinded her and she counted five steps before the thunder hit. It growled like a starving animal. A cornered animal. It rattled the ground beneath her boots. She felt her heart beating oddly as it tried to beat in time with the loud low sound.  
  
She found herself breathing heavily and feeling flushed just a bit halfway down the path. She didn't allow herself to stop and pause for breath or even slow down. No, all of her guardians could probably run this with no problem. He could definitely run this path a hundred times over and never get tired or out of breath.  
  
She pushed harder. She had to distract herself. She didn't want to cry.  
  
So the sky cried for her. It sobbed big fat drops of water and the ground swallowed this sadness up.  
  
She wasn't quite sprinting but her lungs couldn't keep up with the demand her body gave. She was panting as she sped past places where her first tentative battles had been. She remembered how hard they had seemed then.  
  
The storm howled with sadness. The thunder roared and echoed amongst the rocks of the waterfalls. The winds screamed with her frustration.  
  
She had to slow down to keep herself from tumbling down the hill toward the beach but she didn't do it fast enough and she pitched forward down the dirt path. She tumbled head over heals until she managed to grab a branch to stop herself.  
  
When she stood up, she didn't bother to brush the mud and dead grass from her clothing. These clothes and this skin - yes, everyone's skin - was meant to get dirty at one point or another.  
  
She took up at her top speed for the beach. She whipped around the curves of the path and leapt over the fallen logs and rocks in her way. Faster. She had to just work a bit harder. . .  
  
Her feet finally hit the sand but she pushed herself to the edge of the ocean, which threw itself at the beach as if it were trying to punch the land for some punishment.  
  
Her sides hurt with mind-numbing pain. Good. Her legs were shaking as she sunk to the ground. Good. Her lungs and windpipe and throat and nose all burned for the need for oxygen. Yes, good. She was worn out. It was just as she wanted.  
  
The rain punished the Earth as much as the ocean did. She was soaked to the bone. Her skirt and pants had to have had a few pounds of water absorbed into them.  
  
And suddenly, she found that she was crying. She was screaming with frustration in counterpoint with the raging thunderstorm. She was sobbing as both rain and tears ran down her face.  
  
She hated him. She loved him. She wanted nothing to have ever happened to stop felling this weak emptiness inside of her. She wished she had never met him while she wished she had known him since the day she was born.  
  
No, it wasn't fair.  
  
Eventually, she regained control of her emotions. She cautiously looked across the beach as the storm quickly let up to make sure no one saw her in such a vulnerable moment.  
  
No, outbreaks like this couldn't happen any more. She had to move one.  
  
The sun peaked through the clouds and she heard people begin to come down and tend to their fishing nets and boats.  
  
She quickly turned around and began to walk up the path to her home. Back to town. And every step of the way, she fought back a wince a her legs protested in being used so harshly.  
  
When she pulled back the tent flap, she saw Lulu impatiently waiting for you. The black mage eyed her filthy clothes and soaked appearance.  
  
"Well?"  
  
She wondered about how Tidus would come up with something witty but she forced that out of her mind. No, she had to be strong. And this meant being physically and emotion independent from everyone. Including people she loved.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Yes, she had to be strong despite any wind or rain.  
  
"Just went for a morning walk."  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  
  
The End. 


End file.
